Am I Acting Like a Spoiled Brat?

This is a question I seem to be pondering a lot lately.  I'm in this struggle of standing up for what I feel is right and balanced vs what may seem like I'm just wanting what I want.  This may seem, to most adults, like a "no brainer".  The distinction may be very easy for most adults to see and make the appropriate adjustments.  However, I am finding a battle ensueing.

 
I have been reading and re-reading scripture in the Bible about how it's not about me and how I need to remember to trust and surrender to God in everything.  I totally agree with that.  I strive for that moment by moment, not just day by day.  So, what exactly is this suppose to look like in relationship with another human being.  For me, this gets very complicated when I'm not only dealing with my own control issues but I also know that we all have stuff.  I have learned that it is very important to try to define in a relationship, in conflict, in existence in general, where I need to take responsibility for change and where the other person needs to take responsibility.  In other words, where my stuff stops and theirs begins.
 
It's not only in conflict though.  That seems to be where this issue is most visable, I think.  I do know that I struggle with selfishness constantly.  I am continually telling myself that it's not all about me.  However, it is somewhat about me as well as God, and others.  I feel like I need to remember this big, beautiful word...BALANCE!  I can remember not too long ago when so much in my life was way out of balance.  I was so busy focusing on the feelings of others to the point of taking responsibility for their feelings and I was miserable.  I was most definitely a people pleaser.  I can still tend to be.  This is a relational pattern that started at a very young age to avoid physical and emotional abuse from my parents.  I realize many adults can not relate to that sort of abuse and the effects of it but I also know there are many of you who can.  For those of you who can, you know that this is a huge struggle as an adult.  It is a struggle I feel I need to be very candid about because that helps me to be "real" with myself and not try to be something I am not.  In fact, that is a huge part of what this whole struggle is about...being "real" in relationships.
 
I guess, I will press forward and onward and continue to try to reflect and define what this should look like in my relationships with others.  I do understand what God expects from me in my relationship with Him.  So many times I feel like my relationship with Him is so far less complicated then with those around me.  In any case, God has made me to be in relationship with others as well as Himself.  To not strive to be in healthy relationships with those around me would be to neglect and, what I feel, would be in direct violation of one of the greatest commandments He gives to us:  Matt. 22:37-40, "Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
 
Another thought provoked by this verse is how I have learned to truly love God.  If I am miserable and not taking care of myself spiritually, physically, and emotionally then I am being irresponsible with God's creation whom He loves dearly.  I might as well be saying, "God, you did it wrong!  You messed up when you created me!".  I am God's creation and I need to see myself as He sees me.  This principle is something that has taken me a long time to process and understand because I grew up being taught in church and at home that we need to "die to ourselves" and see how terribly sinful we are and deserving of nothing.  Do you hear balance here?  So, to try to understand the difference between selfishness and selflessness has been a very hard work and it still continues in my life today.  I am finding that the more I understand this the better my relationships are with both God and others.
 
So, do I act like a spoiled brat?  Sometimes, most definitely, as an initial response.  However, I do feel that I am learning to recoginze that response and line up the Truth of God's word with my feelings and thoughts.  The Truth that I find in God's word is ultimate balance.